Hackers love caffeine. And Ephedrine. And anything legal or otherwise that promises to keep you up, alert and leet. Ever wonder why your last Jolt didn't wire you as much as your first? Ever try to solder an IC after a couple of Mini-Thins? Well, read on. Remember, if you're sleeping, you're not hacking. And if you're not hacking... what the hell are you doing?

Most, if not all stimulants work on the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). This is your fight or flight system. Adrenaline (Epinephrine), Noradrenaline (Norepinephrine), and Dopamine are the major neurotransmitters of the SNS.

A neurotransmitter is just a chemical that transmits a signal. Different stimulants either mimic, block, or prolong the actions of these neurotransmitters.

Methylxanthines (caffeine and theophylline in tea) cause an increase in a chemical (cAMP) within cells that mediates the effects of the SNS.

Ephedrine mimics Epinephrine as well as causing the body to release its own epi.

Cocaine blocks the destruction of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin (another neurotransmitter), allowing prolonged action of these neurotransmitters.

Got all that? Now on to the practical uses...

Just about everyone uses caffeine. Either from coffee (100mg/80z), tea (80mg/80z), soda (40-60mg/80z or 100mg/80z Jolt!), or those funky yellow tablets (100-200mg). The effects are identical and dose dependent. Don't buy into the idea that natural is better. Guarana, Goto Kola, Yerba Mate, and Cola Nuts are all caffeine. Expensive caffeine.

Effective dosages range from 100-300mg with the toxic dose (where the bad side effects predominate) at about 600-1000mg. Tolerance develops quickly due to an increase in the level of enzymes which destroy the caffeine and its mediator (cAMP). So how do we avoid this?

Take it less often. That sucks, anything else? Grapefruit juice. The bitter bioflavonoid Naringin in the grapefruit juice inhibits the enzyme that destroys caffeine, but not theophylline. It also prolongs the time that caffeine is active by 30 percent or so. As a side note, canned grapefruit juice contains more Naringin. Mo bitter = mo better.

Yes, all the above contain ephedrine (the chemical) or ephedra (the herb). Ephedra contains 0.75 -1.0 percent ephedrine. With the effective dose of ephedrine being 25-50mg, the effective ephedra dose is 300-600mg,

As with most herbs, the absorption of ephedra is pretty crappy. Eating a high protein meal with the herb will keep them in the stomach longer allowing for better absorption. You can also boil the herb in lemon juice; the alkaloids (the good stuff) tend to heat stable and soluble in a weak acid. Tolerance to ephedrine can be temporarily avoided by the addition of caffeine and/or aspirin. Aspirin inhibits prostaglandins which in turn inhibit one of epinephrine's mediator chemicals (Adenyl Cyclase).

Yohimbe: Yohimbe, the herbal form of Yohimbine, is also moderately stimulatory. No, it doesn't increase testosterone or libido. It does block the feedback loop that regulates epinephrine levels. This causes more epinephrine and norepinephrine release. Absorption of yohimbe is particularly crappy. Works really, really well with ephedrine.

Also, if any of you ephedrine popping males notice any difficulty with... ah... er... "wood," then Yohimbe may be for you. It reverses ephedrine nasty side effects "down there."

Phenpropanalomine: This active ingredient of Dexatrim is chemically related to norepinephrine. It primarily decreases appetite. Not a good choice, as any caffeine taken with it causes massive increases in blood pressure. Comes in 25mg tabs of 75mg time release tabs.

Ginseng: Crap. The panax species (all but the Russian variety) are estrogenic. What the hell is that? It means that if you keep taking it you can develop breasts, Knockers, Yabbos. Also increases blood pressure.

Choline and DMAE: Supposedly increases ACh, a neurotransmitter involved in muscle control. Haven't tried it and have heard mixed results.

Tyrosine: The precursor to epinephrine, norepi, and dopamine. When I notice that ephedrine isn't working for me, I take 500-1000mg per day for a week or so to rebuild the epi stores. Tends to be only mildly stimulatory on its own.

Nicotine: No, I don't smoke. I have used the 3mg Nicoderm patch to good effect. The 5mg tends to make me sick. Average cigarette contains 4-6mg nicotine.

Valarian Root: An odd one. Contains methyl-Diazapam, aka Valium, as in the tranquilizer. So what the hell is it doing in an article about stimulants, you ask? One nice side effect of a low dose (one capsule) is a huge reduction in the jitters associated with caffeine and ephedrine. A must for delicate electronics.

Gingko Biloba: God, I love this stuff. Contains gingkosides that increase the perfusion (amount of blood flow) of the brain. I've found it particularly useful for "focusing attention" and as with Valarian, for reducing caffeine jitters. Dosages of 120-160mg (three tabs). C an cause a headache if you're prone to migraines.

Don't use any of these if you're on MAO inhibitors (a kind of anti- depressant). These inhibit the enzyme that destroys the stimulatory neurotransmitters. Also, don't OD on the mini-thins. Tissue saturation (the dose where all tissues are getting the drug) occurs at around 35mg ephedrine and at around 300mg caffeine depending on your weight. Anything higher just increases the side effects.

My stack for full bore Psych without regard to hand-eye coordination: Caffeine 200mg, Ephedrine 25mg, Aspirin 325mg, Yohimbe 2 tabs, all washed down with 12 oz grapefruit juice and a high protein meal. I like peanut butter because of the extra fat. This will tend to hit in about 45-60 minutes.

If I'm soldering or need to decrease jitters: Ephedrine 25mg, Caffeine 200mg, Aspirin 325mg, Gingko Biloba 3 tabs, and Valarian Root 1 cap. Again I take it with a high protein meal. When the ephedrine stops working I go with: Nicotine 3 mg and Tyrosine 1000mg for about a week.

The effects of caffeine last about 2-4 hours, 3-5 with grapefruit juice. Ephedrine effects last 6-8 hours. Re-dosing should be done every 3-4 hours with caffeine and every 6 or so hours with ephedrine.

That's pretty much it for the legal stimulants. Have fun, don't kill yourself and stay leet!